Whoever said Change was Easy?

Let's face it: change is not easy, for most people, for many situations. Factor in how the older you are, the harder it is to "let and let go". Despite our personal journey, Mike and I still feel the effects of a lot of change, and it sure brings up emotional feelings and anxieties, I'll be the first to admit. However, now I can really empathize with military families that are always on the move. We don't intend to be "always" on the move, life has brought us to these crossroads, and we are sure our recent decisions are the right ones.

Having said that, Damn! Change and transition is the one thing that will bring up the ugly or interesting in a situation, every frickin' time! It amazes me the lack of effective communications tools and skills that our society has in place, that we all accept -- and this is everywhere. For me, I most recently felt in the middle of it when my Mother recently passed. "all that I knew"...none of it worked out the way I had ever envisioned it!!!! It forced me to make decisions and shift relationships, some of which are the better for it, some that may still take awhile to adjust. It's okay, but it was a Huge eye opener. But back to the current days and times: It's like an investigative game, when dealing with other people, like you have to figure out what they "really" meant by that comment or tone. It's what I would normally consider a stupid and ridiculous game that I won't participate in, but now, things have changed and I'm forced to play along in order to keep the peace. Keep the Peace. More like, Help Him Grow. An opportunity of empowerment at its finest!

I won't go into the specifics, for that would be a betrayal of personal conversations, emotional conversations, and ones that represent many years of anxiety and emotional build-up. The shift of a long-term and long distance familial relationship that has now shifted to up close and personal. What I will say is that Mike and I are getting REALLY GOOD at downsizing and clearing out the clutter in a house and and our lives. It's such an emotional release, I just can't stress it enough! Everyone should give it a whirl, you'd be surprised at all that you just Don't Need in your lives. All the Baggage we collect and carry around....

But when someone else says they want your help to clear out their clutter...don't believe they really know what they are asking! They "say" the words, they may "want" help to do this overwhelming job....in this case, clearing 30+ years of collections that also include the residuals of the estate from Nana, who passed in 2005 (bless her heart, Hi, Nana!). Now, "that", I REALLY understand, going thru the possessions of loved ones. Another story for another day...

Technology has made some of this transition a lot more intersting. For, what do you DO with all those albums that no one listens to anymore, because CDs are so much easier to handle? And now there's a new IPod Nano added to the mix...well, let's get rid of the CDs AND the albums! Takes some time, but a project on the cleanup list, and a fun one, at that!

All those photos and cards...the scanning project gets bigger, but Way Fun! And timely!

But to get to the part about clearing stuff, you gotta make a Bigger Mess to get the clutter and collections cleaned up! Shoes, clothes, paperwork, photographs, linens, books (lots of books), video tapes, sewing and craft items, household small items, mementos from life, and lots more. This is what most households have saved up. The days of usefulness are long gone for many of these things, but the multi-layered and invisible tethers remain, sometimes even strengthening! You gotta shift things around and make piles where you can put like to like, and Then make the decisions to toss or keep or repair. And then put your money where you mouth is!

We have the truck loaded up with donation stuff that will be delivered today! One great step...

I had already agreed and planned to come up and help this week of Spring break back in the fall, when first asked. However, since our (and their) situation has changed, and we agreed to combine households for a time, for what is really a whole list of valid reasons that I also can't print for now, but all are good...well, add that to cleaning and organizing and the process gets a little trickier.

Where can you put a twin mattress and bags of toys, when you are working on clearing the space where they are to go? In my house, I'd put them in the way for a few days, then work on the other spaces, then it goes faster, and then the job is more effective. When working with people not so tuned into the reality of effecting change--even when that change was Requested!--well, that is one volitile volcano building up steam and ready to explode!! It's called managing the unwilling and resistant one. A good skill that can be used in any place of employment, as well.

In all of this, my mother-in-law has been fantastic! Energetic and excited to get the projects done that she has been requesting help with for so long. It has been a fun opportunity to work along side her for more than a day here and a day there, which is unfortunately the only way we've known it for 18 years now. Christopher is enjoying some quality time with the grandparents, even as he also has to deal with the major changes in his young life, such as changing kindergartens at the end of a school year. My hubby: wonderful partner and the primary reason I am able to keep my head on straight and not go to bed crying. I'm what they call empathic, and I feel what you feel. Right now, it's all I can do to keep focused on the goals and let the Little Stuff (that's trying SO Hard to be Big Stuff) slide right off. The rest of those around us right now....well, let's just say I can feel for all the changes we represent, even though we are here at request, and now as a mutually beneficial arrangement. I feel for those feeling the changes we represent, knowing full well that change is not easy. When you run your own house they way you like, you develop certain habits and comfort zones, and "any" shift to that routine is major. Let's just say: that boat has been rocked, there's no going back. This will either work itself out in a pleasant manner, or end horribly. I'm confident, and voting on the better of the two.

I can deal with someone else thinking they are doing me a favor, whiile at the same time are also unable to see any other benefit(s) offered in return. Truth be told, we could have very easily stayed in our other place and gotten new jobs. All these projects here would be put on hold indefinitely or on the slow track -- let's face it, distance is a showstopper for most things. From my experience and life observations: All of these projects would have been put off until "it's too late"...and then there comes the Sibling factor into how to handle an estate and all that is in it. And that is a most stressful time of life, believe me. However, that's not how it's supposed to be at this time, so here we are, for as long as it takes or feels right.

If you have any jokes or fun stories, or want to chat....my ears and heart are open. LOL!