Senseless Domestic Violence

My cousin Tina and her family were the first-hand victims of domestic violence on Monday, a situation that could have been avoided and never should have happened. Tina has repeatedly asked for help and reported the threats and violence bestowed upon her and her three children for most of the years she has known this unstable and dysfunctional jerk, Jeremiah J. Watson. The end result is he promised to kill Tina and any boyfriends she has. He made every attempt to make his threat a reality on Monday, when he broke into her house in the middle of the night with a shovel, shot and killed her boyfriend, got critically shot himself, and assaulted Tina with the shovel. He tried to shoot Tina, but divine intervention set in and the "gun malfunctioned" at that point. He had called his mother prior to making his trip this night, to say his goodbyes to her and to tell her of his intentions to kill Tina, the kids, and then himself. What did his mother do: NOTHING. Amazing! He had a friend drive him to the house. What did his friend to do stop this bloody crime: he drove him to the house at 4 AM! Amazing! Also interesting that the friend was never mentioned by name or by deed in any of the news reports.

There are many aspects to this story, the first being the most important, but also the most heartbreaking: the sad, sad end result that Tina's boyfriend gave the ultimate sacrifice, his life, to protect his loved ones. Read a beautiful tribute to Chris here. Now the kids had to witness their biological father commit a heinous crime against their mother and a man they had learned to love, and who loved and respected them. Thank goodness that the children did not get hurt, or worse, and especially her oldest who would have undoubtedly tried to defend his mom and Chris. Tina is lucky to have a very supportive network of family and friends who love her and will help her every step of the way. She does not understand why her boyfriend had to go at such a young age, to leave her when they were so in love. I do believe the hardest thing about living is to let go of a child...now Chris' parents need to do just that. Tina and Chris' family need all our prayers and help to get through this.

When a story becomes news, the information can go in many directions and ultimately takes on a life of its own. In this case, the online newspaper version of this report has proven VERY disappointing! First of all, not all the information was reported accurately, but then again, it never is. This newspaper, www.thebaynet.com, allows readers to post comments to their stories, and post away they did! The very first online comment came just hours after the break-in, at 8:37 am, from one of Tina's neighbors, with a screen name of "Mulva". What he said was ignorant and self-centered:

"I just want some sleep... Just when you think it won't happen in your neighborhood, guess what? It does. Armed suspect on the loose, K-9 units barking in my driveway, helicopter(s) searching just above tree top levels-spotlights shining, sirens, flashing lights...... thanks section 8!" Someone demanded that the righteous and stupid Mulva give the Tina Dean family an apology for his insensitive and inappropriate comments. When I looked just now, I was surprised to see that his original comment was "removed by administrator". Maybe he does have a conscience after all, albiet a lame and late one. The damage was done, the sickness spread like wildfire amongst the weak.

The next comment was from another neighbor who was lamenting about the noise in the neighborhood and telling the world about how a guy was picked up near his side yard, but followed with a defense about how he was not section 8, and how he had lived there for 3 years and had no problems.

And so it began. I took the opportunity to slam the jerk about suggesting that "section 8" was the problem here...clearly the report was about a tragedy that struck a family due to domestic violence. Nothing in the report mentioned anything about social services statuses.

Practically all the comments that followed were as ignorant and ridiculous as the first one. It became like a train wreck, where you felt drawn to go back and see what updates there were to the comments, because SURELY, these people really and truly cannot be this F**KING stupid! And I was sadly and disgustingly disappointed.

I know this bad behavior happens in other parts of the country and world, and not just in Down County, but IT DOESN'T HAVE TO HAPPEN ANYWHERE! Why DO we allow people to get away with this ridulousness?

And that brings me to another aspect: just what do we need to do to protect ourselves from the truly screwed up nutcases? Tina followed the law, got her protective order and the system failed her. Jeremiah was released from jail, only to harass her and get re-arrested. Since he was out on parole from his last crime, he should have automatically been returned to the jail for his disregard of he law and his desire to make Tina miserable. The judges and attorneys see this behavior all the time, they should recognize the problems in the system and make changes accordingly. Sooner than later! So where do we go from here? Do we have to take matters into our own hands from now on? Do we hire someone to "take care" of the live and serious threat(s)? Do we ignore the problem and run away? And so on. Surely, despite how Jeremiah's domestic violence and abusive behavior had been reported, he did not respect the law, nor Tina or the kids. It is clear he did not care about making a comfortable and healthy relationship with any of them. Instead he made them the focus of his obsession, to the tune of "If I can't have them, no one will." What is the answer? For me, if I had even one dependent in the home, I'd do exactly what Tina did: get a gun, and then target practice, practice, practice. In self defense with an extreme psycho such as this guy: aim for the heart with no remorse.

My final aspect for the night: domestic violence as an act. What are we thinking when we subscribe to domestic violence, or even if we become a victim, and why make it easy for the perpetrator? Sure, it's easy for folks to judge another and wonder why someone wouldn't just leave when things don't work right. It's usually a lot more complicated than that, and I'd say, from a place of knowing, that sometimes it just takes time and energy and creative behavior to get out of a situation. When it has a violent nature (the situation), then the risks are higher and the potential fallout could be very expensive on many levels, the first of which is the emotional and physical forfeitures and drains. The only way we can stop this sick behavior is to have no tolerance of it by the ENTIRE community, ALL communities. I guarantee you that if a guy knew that if he even looked at an ex-girlfriend he'd have painful procedures applied to him in the form of bodily harm, he might just think twice about it and not be so quick to action in an effort to injure another person(s) or feel so entitled to steal away the happiness of others by imposing the miserableness

Just where did Jeremiah, and other creeps and murderers like him, get the idea or the training to do such horrible deeds? Is is lack of home training, is it a chemical deficiency? As far as I can tell, once the behavior is learned, it would take a miracle to turn around that sort of negativity. Perhaps it can never be done, and why would anyone trust a jerk like him when he never proved to be trustworthy? Was it our hometown that bred this ass, or was it genetic? Who knows, and who cares? He is history now. If he lives past the critical stage or ICU in the hospital, his life will we a waste and drain on the country. The only thing positive that would have come from him was three beautiful children and nothing else. If he is lucky and smart, he will check out of this lifetime and ask meekly for a possible "do-over" for his next lifetime.

This tragedy could have been prevented, people who behave like Jeremiah need to be stopped before they go too far. Our society and communities have to learn how to band together to demand what is right and just.

This makes my head hurt. My heart aches for the sadness felt by Tina. I know she will carry on, and that she will also carry part of Chris in her heart for all her days to come.