Substitute Teaching = Not for Everyone!

People agree to substitute teach for a variety of reasons. One of them "might" be when the economy is weird and people are afraid to hire decent and skilled employees for the jobs that are waiting to be done. Just like giving stimulus monies or tax rebates to citizens, who then use it to pay bills but not necessarily to spend on the shopping that the government is so heavily depending on to restore order to the universe.

Okay, back on target:

Substitute teaching is NOT for everyone. So far, 3x for 2nd graders and 3x for high schoolers. The elementary kids are a lot easier to work with, they are still young. However, they also present their own challenges. It is amazing how much 8 yr olds get away with and think it's okay. Makes me wonder just how many of them had parents who abused and used drugs when they were pregnant with these children. They show ALL the symptoms of inutero substance abuse, just 8 or 15 years later. What the hell are these people thinking?! Let's see, just do a whole shitload of drugs while pregnant, and then wonder why your kids are having difficulties paying attention, staying focused, learning at grade level, knowing how to socialize, ETC!

And so we subs go in, get all the fallout from the difficult kids, who then consume all the time of the teachers and subs and take away valuable classroom time from the students who are paying attention.

And then the kids are bribed with candies for doing what they are supposed to do, not for doing something special or extra nice. Bribed with candies! While I am glad to see that the majority of elementary kids are not overweight in this particular school, it is not right that they are offered candies on a school property, or during school times.

The high school kids....my first reaction might be "brats" or "rude and disrespectful"! For, well, they ARE rude and disrespectful. They think sub is a dirty word, which then justifies the use of their crude collection of curse words, which ironically comes from very limited and immature vocabularies. Why a group of students think using the words "fuck" or "nigger" or "pussy" is ever acceptable is mind boggling to me. One girl told me today that "I didn't know that was a bad word." in reference to the N-word! She was singing it in song lyrics in the middle of class. I think I'll have to look up the stats on how limited the vocabulary is for the illiterate (for that is what the majority of the students I've seen so far will be, even if they do graduate -- they sure don't know how to read or write very well) vs. the vocabularies for the successful citizens in our country.

I do regress sometimes and can't help comparing my own high school experiences with this unrecognizable set of experiences for these kids going through today. Some major differences include the disassembled "smoking circle" that often entertained more than cigarette smoke between classes, the absence of students who were old enough to drink beer or wine (the drinking age was still 18 in my graduating year, changing in July that year), and the most obvious of all: the absence of PDA in the hallways. Sure, there are students who hold hands and walk thru the halls, but you don't see the heavy petting (and more) that was so prevalent back then. Now, there is a Baby Room for all the babies of the students who attend high school. That seems like an interesting option for students, because it is supposed to include parenting classes for all those involved. I was a little disappointed today to learn that it "doesn't work that way" at this HS. Hmmmm..... Seems like some things would be so logical.

This school is also so large now, that I wonder how each of the grades has any sense of cohesion that would bind them in any way that will lead to fun reunions in years later. On the other hand, it also makes me appreciate how my own graduating class of 282 students is not well connected on any large scale for our reunions. Sure, it gets "better" each time, but that is not saying much.

Enough of the subbing rambling. Let's suffice it to say that I appreciate having a job. I appreciate the opportunity to work in schools where many of my nieces, nephews and little cousins are attending right now. I appreciate the whole learning experience. However, let's also be clear: subbing is *not* for everyone!

And people should also work a little closer with their kids and students: it's NOT okay for these kids to be so disrespectful and rude "just because" or to feel like cursing is intelligent.

Regardless, I do stand by my belief that there is hope. And I appreciate that my journey in life is nothing like the ones I am witnessing at the moment. I also appreciate that Mike and I are able to provide our little guy with options and learning opportunities, as well as appropriate guidance for his behaviors.

*sigh*

The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting

While it may seem obvious to some or many, we all could benefit from a review and an update on parenting skills, whether we have a little one in the house at the moment, or just access to one. Children are our most precious gifts of all, and we need to take care of them. I found this book on display at the library recently, and was drawn to read through it. It's a fast read, and most of it is common sense, as the author pointed out.

It is not based on "one person's opinion, or someone's experiences in raising a couple of children, or the observations somebody made over the course of working with a few dozen families in a clinical practice." It is based on decades of systematic research by many scientists and literally thousands of well-designed research studies.

Anyway, enjoy!

The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting
By Laurence Steinberg, PhD

1. What you do matters
2. You cannot be too loving
3. Be involved in your child’s life
4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child
5. Establish rules and set limits
6. Help foster your child’s independence
7. Be consistent
8. Avoid harsh discipline
9. Explain your rules and decisions
10. Treat your child with respect

These are the chapter subheadings. I do recommend reading the book if you get a chance, it was helpful as a reminder for most things and was a creative inspiration for others.

1. What you do matters

• Be a mindful parent
• Genes don’t make parents irrelevant
• Children learn by watching
• Handling influences outside the family
• Learn from your mistakes

2. You cannot be too loving

• Can you spoil your child with love?
• Expressing physical affection
• Praise your child’s accomplishments
• Responding to your child’s emotional needs
• Providing a safe haven

3. Be involved in your child’s life

• Be involved
• What is quality time?
• Take an interest in your child’s interests
• The importance of school involvement
• Avoid intrusive parenting

4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child

• keep pace with your child’s development
• adjust your parenting to your child’s temperament
• your child is unique
• have patience during developmental transitions
• your changing role as a parent

5. Establish rules and set limits

• All children need rules and limits
• Be firm, but be fair
• The importance of monitoring
• Handling conflicts over rules
• Relaxing limits as your child matures

6. Help foster your child’s independence

• Your child’s need for autonomy
• Coping with oppositionalism and argumentativeness
• Give your child psychological space
• Don’t micromanage your child’s life
• Protect when you must, but permit when you can

7. Be consistent

• Be consistent day to day
• The significance of routines
• How important is a united front?
• Be consistent without being rigid
• Identify your nonnegotiables (safety, etc.)

8. Avoid harsh discipline

• Should children be punished?
• Never use physical punishment
• Don’t be verbally abusive (incl. yelling)
• Controlling your anger
• The right way to punish

9. Explain your rules and decisions

• Be clear about what you expect
• Reasoning with your child
• “Because I said so!”
• Hear your child’s point of view
• Admit your mistakes

10. Treat your child with respect

• Getting and giving respect
• Have two-way conversations
• “Don’t talk back”
• Let your child act his age
• Children treat others the way their parents threat them

Five Elements of Effective Punishment

1. identification
2. impact
3. alternatives
4. punishment
5. expectation

Effective punishment needs to include these five elements, in the following order:

• an identification of the specific act that was wrong
• a statement describing the impact of the misbehavior
• a suggestion for one of more alternatives to the undesirable behavior
• a clear statement of what he punishment is going to be
• a statement of your expectation that your child will do better the next time