Thanks for the White Christmas 2009!

Merry Christmas!
perfect time for a snow storm the weekend before Christmas...

with a little assistance, Chris made an awesome snowman

and some snow angels

even Maya was loving the change in weather
this was before all the snow finished falling
we ended up with about 8 or 9 inches of snow by Sun morning

fortunately, Santa was able to find his way to our new digs
in case you were wondering, Chris was Very Concerned that Santa wasn't going to find him in time

Christmas Eve and morning, a lot of fun and good memories for our family
...Christmas from the perspective of a 6-yr older...
nothing like it!

and in the end...it had to happen
Adios, Mr. Snowman
thanks for the memories...

and last, but not least
Mike's #46 Birthday Cake
which was made a couple of days late, because he was too sick to enjoy it "on time"
here's to many more!

check out the edible snowflakes on top
thanks, Holly, they are an interesting and fun topping

and now, to prepare for the new year
and a better one it WILL be, for us and for everyone we know
Surely, this is the Truth!

Happy Birthday, Mom!

In loving memory of Mom, who would have been 66 today. I miss and love you lots...

Substitute Teaching = Not for Everyone!

People agree to substitute teach for a variety of reasons. One of them "might" be when the economy is weird and people are afraid to hire decent and skilled employees for the jobs that are waiting to be done. Just like giving stimulus monies or tax rebates to citizens, who then use it to pay bills but not necessarily to spend on the shopping that the government is so heavily depending on to restore order to the universe.

Okay, back on target:

Substitute teaching is NOT for everyone. So far, 3x for 2nd graders and 3x for high schoolers. The elementary kids are a lot easier to work with, they are still young. However, they also present their own challenges. It is amazing how much 8 yr olds get away with and think it's okay. Makes me wonder just how many of them had parents who abused and used drugs when they were pregnant with these children. They show ALL the symptoms of inutero substance abuse, just 8 or 15 years later. What the hell are these people thinking?! Let's see, just do a whole shitload of drugs while pregnant, and then wonder why your kids are having difficulties paying attention, staying focused, learning at grade level, knowing how to socialize, ETC!

And so we subs go in, get all the fallout from the difficult kids, who then consume all the time of the teachers and subs and take away valuable classroom time from the students who are paying attention.

And then the kids are bribed with candies for doing what they are supposed to do, not for doing something special or extra nice. Bribed with candies! While I am glad to see that the majority of elementary kids are not overweight in this particular school, it is not right that they are offered candies on a school property, or during school times.

The high school kids....my first reaction might be "brats" or "rude and disrespectful"! For, well, they ARE rude and disrespectful. They think sub is a dirty word, which then justifies the use of their crude collection of curse words, which ironically comes from very limited and immature vocabularies. Why a group of students think using the words "fuck" or "nigger" or "pussy" is ever acceptable is mind boggling to me. One girl told me today that "I didn't know that was a bad word." in reference to the N-word! She was singing it in song lyrics in the middle of class. I think I'll have to look up the stats on how limited the vocabulary is for the illiterate (for that is what the majority of the students I've seen so far will be, even if they do graduate -- they sure don't know how to read or write very well) vs. the vocabularies for the successful citizens in our country.

I do regress sometimes and can't help comparing my own high school experiences with this unrecognizable set of experiences for these kids going through today. Some major differences include the disassembled "smoking circle" that often entertained more than cigarette smoke between classes, the absence of students who were old enough to drink beer or wine (the drinking age was still 18 in my graduating year, changing in July that year), and the most obvious of all: the absence of PDA in the hallways. Sure, there are students who hold hands and walk thru the halls, but you don't see the heavy petting (and more) that was so prevalent back then. Now, there is a Baby Room for all the babies of the students who attend high school. That seems like an interesting option for students, because it is supposed to include parenting classes for all those involved. I was a little disappointed today to learn that it "doesn't work that way" at this HS. Hmmmm..... Seems like some things would be so logical.

This school is also so large now, that I wonder how each of the grades has any sense of cohesion that would bind them in any way that will lead to fun reunions in years later. On the other hand, it also makes me appreciate how my own graduating class of 282 students is not well connected on any large scale for our reunions. Sure, it gets "better" each time, but that is not saying much.

Enough of the subbing rambling. Let's suffice it to say that I appreciate having a job. I appreciate the opportunity to work in schools where many of my nieces, nephews and little cousins are attending right now. I appreciate the whole learning experience. However, let's also be clear: subbing is *not* for everyone!

And people should also work a little closer with their kids and students: it's NOT okay for these kids to be so disrespectful and rude "just because" or to feel like cursing is intelligent.

Regardless, I do stand by my belief that there is hope. And I appreciate that my journey in life is nothing like the ones I am witnessing at the moment. I also appreciate that Mike and I are able to provide our little guy with options and learning opportunities, as well as appropriate guidance for his behaviors.

*sigh*

The 10 Basic Principles of Good Parenting

While it may seem obvious to some or many, we all could benefit from a review and an update on parenting skills, whether we have a little one in the house at the moment, or just access to one. Children are our most precious gifts of all, and we need to take care of them. I found this book on display at the library recently, and was drawn to read through it. It's a fast read, and most of it is common sense, as the author pointed out.

It is not based on "one person's opinion, or someone's experiences in raising a couple of children, or the observations somebody made over the course of working with a few dozen families in a clinical practice." It is based on decades of systematic research by many scientists and literally thousands of well-designed research studies.

Anyway, enjoy!

The Ten Basic Principles of Good Parenting
By Laurence Steinberg, PhD

1. What you do matters
2. You cannot be too loving
3. Be involved in your child’s life
4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child
5. Establish rules and set limits
6. Help foster your child’s independence
7. Be consistent
8. Avoid harsh discipline
9. Explain your rules and decisions
10. Treat your child with respect

These are the chapter subheadings. I do recommend reading the book if you get a chance, it was helpful as a reminder for most things and was a creative inspiration for others.

1. What you do matters

• Be a mindful parent
• Genes don’t make parents irrelevant
• Children learn by watching
• Handling influences outside the family
• Learn from your mistakes

2. You cannot be too loving

• Can you spoil your child with love?
• Expressing physical affection
• Praise your child’s accomplishments
• Responding to your child’s emotional needs
• Providing a safe haven

3. Be involved in your child’s life

• Be involved
• What is quality time?
• Take an interest in your child’s interests
• The importance of school involvement
• Avoid intrusive parenting

4. Adapt your parenting to fit your child

• keep pace with your child’s development
• adjust your parenting to your child’s temperament
• your child is unique
• have patience during developmental transitions
• your changing role as a parent

5. Establish rules and set limits

• All children need rules and limits
• Be firm, but be fair
• The importance of monitoring
• Handling conflicts over rules
• Relaxing limits as your child matures

6. Help foster your child’s independence

• Your child’s need for autonomy
• Coping with oppositionalism and argumentativeness
• Give your child psychological space
• Don’t micromanage your child’s life
• Protect when you must, but permit when you can

7. Be consistent

• Be consistent day to day
• The significance of routines
• How important is a united front?
• Be consistent without being rigid
• Identify your nonnegotiables (safety, etc.)

8. Avoid harsh discipline

• Should children be punished?
• Never use physical punishment
• Don’t be verbally abusive (incl. yelling)
• Controlling your anger
• The right way to punish

9. Explain your rules and decisions

• Be clear about what you expect
• Reasoning with your child
• “Because I said so!”
• Hear your child’s point of view
• Admit your mistakes

10. Treat your child with respect

• Getting and giving respect
• Have two-way conversations
• “Don’t talk back”
• Let your child act his age
• Children treat others the way their parents threat them

Five Elements of Effective Punishment

1. identification
2. impact
3. alternatives
4. punishment
5. expectation

Effective punishment needs to include these five elements, in the following order:

• an identification of the specific act that was wrong
• a statement describing the impact of the misbehavior
• a suggestion for one of more alternatives to the undesirable behavior
• a clear statement of what he punishment is going to be
• a statement of your expectation that your child will do better the next time

Scary Trick or Treaters

Happy Halloween!

Even with a broken collar bone, there was no stopping Chris from being part of this crew of scary trick or treaters! We went in my sister's neighborhood and the one next to her, since our neighborhood is basically remote and very, very quiet.
Next year, we are NOT going to be moving anytime around this holiday, and we'll get an earlier start on making a new and interesting, and unique, costume. Gotta love the Halloween fun!

These are from the haunted hay ride from the previous weekend. This was my first year, and it was fun. The rain even held off until almost the end of the night. Only the last two trailers of riders got rained on.

The Grim Reaper in his "shallow grave"
(as he informed me, that was his hiding spot to scare the people)

Dead Head Skeleton Face Gorilla Monster
Big Foot
...And there were lots of others. I think the scariest was a toss up between the Werewolf and the Chainsaw Crazed Man

Getting ready for Halloween

This disgusting witch is an oldie, but a goodie, and my all-time favorite Halloween cartoon. Hee hee!

Other than that, lots going on, not a lot of "free" time these days. Still getting settled, working on a t-shirt quilt fr a friend's daughter (as promised for last May...), a gorilla costume for Halloween, attending classes for substitute teacher certification (i.e., for gainful employment), and lots more. bumping into folks from the past, which is usually a good thing. being "back home" is good, but also a little strange for me.

Anyway, will write more when things get a little more settled. In the meantime, Happy Halloween!

In the Midst of Changes

Seems like all of life for the past two years, or more, has been about changes. MAJOR changes. Did I mention "major" changes?

All is good. I realized this past week that I have asked for everything that has come my way. Sure, some of it seems a bit extreme, and probably is/was. Some was resisted along the way, which makes it harder. But, here we are.

We said, "We want to move closer to family on the east coast."
And so, here we are. All roads point to what we asked for, and in ways we could never have imagined.

Mike got the job that paid for the move.
Didn't sell our NM house, though. Deep down, we must not have wanted to sell it. A tentacle that holds us to the southwest that we came to love so much. To our friends and acquired famillies out there.

The job was difficult and not at all as originally presented, and eventually went away.
The mother-in-law developed cancer and asked for help, then forgot she asked for help and, well, let's just say that "things did not work out" at ALL as they could have....in a HEALTHY environment. And I'm not referring to the cancer.
But, it is what it is.
The best part: ALL of the dysfunctional parts of these past relationships are no longer EVER accepted in this space I occupy. They once were tolerated, but they are no longer. It takes more than one person to have a relationship, so either these relationships will shift to healthy places, or they will go away. I'm okay either way, because we all take our own journey in life, a journey that cannot be determined or changed by another. In all, I wish only the best for everyone.

And so the move back to my hometown. Full of lots or really wonderful things. Some things are a little more challenging. We are getting to a comfortable place, finally. Jobs are starting to peek around the corner and show up in the nick of time. That's a welcomed blessing!

More than anything, all of this has provided me clarity of who I am and helped me to see where we were, where we're going, and to realize that we did indeed ask for all that has come our way. No, I didn't say, "oh, please make this journey the most difficult ever" or ever want to deal with difficult people or hardships. However, some of the difficult relationships have now either resolved themselves by the other person(s) going their own separate ways, or by some of us realizing our relationships were shifting to a new level and by embracing those changes.

I realize this is like "speaking in code" but only because I cannot, or will not, post names or specifics that are not appropriate in this forum.

One of the best discoveries I've found lately, in my travels in St. Mary's, is the awesome public library! I've loved books forever, but this library rocks! The best part is their online library where you can download books on tape and play them at your leisure.

And this is where I found Abraham on tape! Jerry and Esther Hicks have recorded some of their books about the collective conscious entity(entities) called Abraham, and I've been listening to one of their books that is particularly interesting to me: "Ask and it is given, Part I: The Law of Attraction". The law of attraction is such a basic and simple concept, yet we all try to make it so difficult. I am a firm believer in the afterlife, and in the spirits that are there to guide us. Channels such as Esther Hicks and Jane Roberts are such fun to listen to, and offer such beautiful aides for opening your mind, heart and soul to the possibilities of life.

I am not here to tell you what you need or should do. I will help guide the children in my life and in my range, but even they must find the truth about their souls and their purposes in life. We are not here to control them or anyone else. We are not here to judge them or anyone else. There is so much awesome freedom and enjoyment when we each realize the truths in life, and when we life our lives aligned with the pure essence of "who we are".

This also makes it easier for me to step back from those who come to me in judgment...which as anyone knows, is basically human nature these days. I can stand back and see clearly and not take statements and behaviors personally, or get irritated or worse -- try to FIX everything, as I've been so well taught. It is NOT my job to fix a damn thing about anyone else. It IS my job to be a good person and to love life and be as true as possible.

So there you have it. In the midst of changes, I take responsibility for getting us here to where we are, through all the many hardships along the way the past couple of years. More importantly, I embrace the opportunities to become more clearly surrounded with truth and beauty every day. And this I do with my husband, my son, my pets, and from there, with anyone else who "gets" it and comes on board.

May you each have a blessed day!
love and peace!

Demolition Derby Fun

We had a lot of fun at the demolition derby, only the second time I've ever gone to one. My brothers have been preparing and racing in them for years now, but we were never in town at the right time until this past June.
Needless to say, the kids had a BLAST! And it was quite entertaining for the rest of us, as well. Didn't hurt that our brothers and some of their friends on the same team won several spots in the various heats for this derby:

Best Paint Job: Keith, driving the Support Our Troups 4-cylinder car
3rd Place, 4-cylinder: Keith
2nd Place trucks: Spanky (Kevin)
3rd Place Trucks: David

Charles and Rose

Christopher sitting on top of Spanky's truck

David taking pics of people taking pics of the trucks, at the gas station

Nick, Christopher and Tristian on Spanky's truck

Mom's station wagon. still not personally reconciled with the fact that her car is in the derby, but it's ok. her car, Betsy, has not yet won a derby when I was sure it would on Sat. maybe next time.

one of Country and Spanky's vehicles, a 4-cylinder

the Skool Bus, placed 3rd this time, and was driven by David
this thing has been in 13 or 14 prior derbies and should really be renamed the Energizer Bunny, since it just won't quit! check out the helmets in the passenger "seats", they are all the team names of their derby competitors...ha ha ha!

Keith drove this one, a 4-cylinder, called Support Our Troops. it placed 3rd in that category, and also won Best Paint Job! not visible here, but once at the derby, many of the spectators signed the car, including a group of special Navy enlisted guests. there must be politics in just about everything in life, but the judge was biased to the PacMan car (perhaps because he used to drive for them), and actually tried to narrow the vote down to two other cars and excluding this one. but the crowd yelled the car number and voted this one the best paint job, so he had to concede. all done up, it did come out really nice, this picture is incomplete.

here are some pics of the derby in action. our camera needs an upgrade/replacement, doesn't take action shots well. and, then ran out of battery juice in mid-derby, so there are only a few below:

my brothers, Charles, Keith, in-law Victor, and Darryl
it was good to get to see them all together again
(we missed you, James)

well, if you have never been to a derby, I'd say you might want to give it a whirl! it was a lot of (not so clean) good fun, and no one really got hurt. one of the guys, Spanky, was hit head on unnecessarily by a guy who probably needs an attitude adjustment. the other guy had already won the derby, and had to make one more hard hit after the fact. I think that caused a little extra soreness for Spanky, but all the other guys said they were feeling fine after the derby.

there were several heats, starting with the larger cars, which is where Mom's car was entered. next was the derby for the teens, where a teen can drive but has an adult assisting in the vehicle. none of the vehicles are allowed to make direct hits to the drivers doors, ever, and this heat included the passengers doors. then, the 4-cylinder cars were up after that. I have to say, this was my favorite one. it looked like a bunch of beetles buzzing all around the derby area, going fast, backing up, rushing forward, spinning around! Keith placed 3rd in the one, and the two final cars just wouldn't stop! both of them had back tire trouble, where one of them had the tire axle sticking out on the left, past the car, and the tire eventually finally laid horizontal under the car. we think this helped the car stay in the heat, but we are sure the driver had no idea how bad it was. the other finalist also had tire troubles. both of his back tires were angled out, where the left one was at a 45-degree angle to the left, and the right one was at a 45-degree angle to the right. eventually, I think the rubber on his left tire finally came off entirely. but, that was the least of his troubles. he should have been more concerned that his entire engine was ON FIRE during the final 10 minutes of the heat. even with tire trouble and fire, these two cars kept on buzzing around the pit, and smashing and hitting and refusing to quit. the on-fire car finally quit, taking 2nd place, giving the tire-runner the 1st place. once they both quit moving, the 1st place car ALSO caught on fire, quite a dramatic ending to a race that had everyone in the stands laughing their heads off. the kids were jumping up and down, shouting and pointing. Christopher didn't know what to think, his eyes showing his surprise and excitement, all the while pulling him into the world of derbies for life!

afterwards, we all packed up while the guys loaded up the now more smashed up vehicles onto the various trailers. and, we headed for their usual: I-HOP. I think there were about 45 of us this time that went to IHOP, and since the derby got a late start, several of the kids fell asleep soon after we got there, including Christopher. this upset him in the morning, because he was determined to stay awake this time. good thing we brought his Smiley Face Pancake home with us! perhaps the funniest of this part is that one of my younger cousins, Ashley, showed up in the room across from us with her new fiance and 4 of their friends. once she realized we were all in the room next to her, the expression on her face was priceless. she came over and said, "ok, I just had to tell my friends I had to come over here because 'All of that room over there is full of my relatives!'" I had the opportunity to meet Jermaine about 2 weeks ago, so it was even more fun for me that he could meet massive quantities of relatives all in one sitting. it's just one of the hazards of being from a large family in a small town, everyone knows everyone. it doesn't help his cause that he also comes from a large county family, as well!

as for the derbies...
looking forward to the next ones! June 2010 and September 2010

Reminder, it's just a temporary inconvenience

We go thru the days, and some are easier than others. I just want to be comfortable, for my family to be comfortable, to get a chance to enjoy the little things in life. Of course, we do that anyway, but I'd like it with a few less spiders and creepy crawlies on me at night. So, we live in the woods, so what would we have expected? No, not "literally" in the woods, but the apartment is at the bottom half of a house, that overlooks a reservoir/protected lands, so it's very, very quiet, very green, very nature-friendly. No sounds of traffic, no onslaught of noisy sirens and screaming idiots like we were becoming used to in NJ, and certainly a lot safer than we've known in a long time. You can actually walk around at night with no worries from other humans. Just have to be on the lookout for foxes and other wildlife. In fact, I saw a beautiful fox just the other day, running across the road in front of me. The day before that, I saw a turtle that had just finished crossing over into the shoulder of the road, he was about 6-8 inches across the shell.

With the sliding doors we have in all three of the rooms we are using, the spiders, daddy long legs, leaf bugs, and who knows what else...well, they think they own the dang place! They sneak in and try to crawl up on your legs and arms. There we are sitting and watching a movie or playing scrabble before turning in for the night, and then one of us realizes it's not any of the fringes on any of my clothing articles that is brushing across the legs, it a damn insect. So out comes the inspect repellent. I don't normally go around killing things, but these things need to know that there is not enough room for both them and us in this place. Fortunately, we have not seen any mice or worse yet. And we're not leaving out any bait for them, either, so that shouldn't be a problem!

Aside from that, I anticipate that we will both have jobs in the very, very near future, and we will be able to also get Christopher setup in the comfort of his own room soon, with the bunk bed we have been promising since we left the days of routine in Albuquerque, and a steady routine for the days of the week. The changes in schedules and environments has started to take its toll, and we knew that would probably happen. Our little guys does MUCH better when he has a regular routine.

Which brings us to the end of the ramblings for dealing with inconveniences and insects, and changes in routines. I remind myself each and every day that these current days of transition are MUCH better than the recent months of what turned out to be a very hellish experience, and that the disruptions and changes are only temporary. They will soon blend into a comfortable existence for us, and I'll look back over this ridiculous combination of words and be thankful that I have a good husband and son to help me keep a focus on what's important in life.

Sigh. Which reminds me also, well, I wouldn't mind a little cable tv hooked up. Now, that's another story.... we should have the cable companies (and severe limitations on what services ares available where in these outskirts) and internet services figured out by next week. Sigh, sigh...

The Whistling Milestone

Out little guy has been trying his hardest to learn how to whistle for the past couple of years. Sometimes he works on it a few days in a row, sometimes he goes for awhile between attempts. But now...he's making a whistling sound and there's no stopping him now. In the car on the way to the bus stop, I could hear the whistling, followed by a, "Mommy! Did you hear me?!" So, I did the responsible thing, I reminded him about how he can practice at recess, but not in class, and not during school time. He agreed he would pay attention.

Which reminds me...another milestone! He's also learning to tie his shoes. We've been lazy and have always gotten him the easy velcro style, which he also still has. But, now he's got his own tie up lace shoes. He had one pair last year, and he tried to tie them, but it didn't work out well. So, he's stubborn, which makes learning new skills challenging sometimes. That's about how I caught him sitting on the sofa this morning fully dressed, just trying to get his shoes on. He "tied" his shoes, which means he worked those strings, and worked those strings, until he had them all tied together and twisted around, and tucked into other parts of the shoe and laces. Very ingenious, but not gonna work for 1st grade. So, he agreed to let me show him how to tie them again, and to practice with me later.

All I can say is, wish me luck! I think he inherited some of the obsessiveness and hardheadness from his Papa!

Happy Birthday, Elaina!

...and another niece turns 18 and joins the official world of adulthood!

good luck, Sweetie, you will do fine! you have spunk, drive, intelligence, and creative solutions, not to mention the looks that will also get you many breaks.

Happy Birthday!!!

Happy 09.09.09!

There is so much to say and do and think and feel! We have been through a heck of a year, as have many others, but we choose to shift our focus to only remember the positive. Learn from the difficult, but press on to the positive.

Not enough time to write Right Now, but soon, Baby, Soon!

AND: today is Christopher's first day of 1st Grade! Woo Hoo!

Mrs. Stampers told him, "I get a Nickless every year" so we figure he should be in good hands.

Anyway, to all and everyone, have a great 09/09/09!

Don't you just love the fun dates?

Just Amazing

today, I received confirmation about a long-term relationship in my life that has been tainted with prejudice and racism towards me directly since the beginning, as in, over a time-span of decades! by someone who allegedly "accepted me as is". to show you how naive or ignorant, or both, that I have been, it never even occurred to me that these true and ugly feelings were an issue until about a month ago.

just Amazing! but, also a sense of relief now that it is out in the open. for what relationship can be based on truth when it is tainted with the ugliest of lies and offense? and how better to "let go" and, more importantly, to forgive the offender, than to see it for what it is and then let it go. truly a sense of freedom, for the invisible controlling binds that once held the relationship in a "safe" place are gone forever. "IF" -- and I might add that "if" if a very strong word here -- this relationship ever gets to a place of healing, it will never be the dysfunction that it always was before.

it's interesting, the older I get, and the more true I am to myself and to my family, the more the layers of dysfunction around me show up to challenge themselves to me before they finally either dissolve, shift, or go away. the layers of lies that try to smoother the perfect jewel of truth. I choose truth EVERY time, thank you very much!

in fact, the irony in all of this is that I don't lie. I have no reason to, never did, will not start now. those that make ugly accusations (most recently, referencing the individual above) will always try to manipulate and re-direct conversations, try to place wedges between me and the ones I love, and try to make me to be the "bad guy" when I firmly rest on my former statement: I don't lie. I don't try to hurt anyone, I certainly don't try to make anyone miserable. it is inevitably the act of living a life of falseness, avoidance, denial, illusion or just plain meanness, that creates these difficult encounters.

and now, to be free of yet one more dysfunctional aspect of life!

from www.dictionary.com:

prejudice
prej-u-dice (prej-uh-dis)
--noun
1. any unfavorable opinion or feeling formed beforehand or without knowledge, thought, or reason.
2. any preconceived opinion or feeling, either favorable or unfavorable.
3. unreasonable feelings, opinions, or attitudes, esp. of a hostile nature, regarding a racial, religious, or national group.
4. such attitudes considered collectively: The war against prejudice is never-ending.
5. damage or injury; detriment; a law that operated to the prejudice of the majority.
--verb
6. to affect with a prejudice, either favorable or unfavorable: His honesty and sincerity prejudiced us in his favor.
--idiom
7. without prejudice, Law. without dismissing, damaging, or otherwise affecting a legal interest or demand
Origin: 1250-1300

rac-ism
proununciation: rey-siz-uhm
-noun
1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among various races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.
2. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
3. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.
Origin: 1865-70

and now, I will go hug and love the ones in my immediate family unit even more. THAT'S what I get up in the morning to be, a good person to these people first, and then to all others after that. nowhere in this formula is there room for racism and prejudice.

Miss Daisy

Here is Chris with Daisy. More pictures to follow, but I forgot to bring in the camera for the moment.

Christopher gets to play with a mamma dog, Miss Daisy, who has 12 puppies that we are also taking care of for about a week. What fun! He's never had the opportunity to play with 4-wk old puppies before. They still sleep a lot, but when they wake up, look out! They are ready to romp around, growl at everyone, and bark at nothing. They are so cute! Now they are discovering that if they tug on the blanket on the pen sides, the blankets come down.

T.H.I.R.T.Y...T.H.R.E.E...D.A.Y.S..!.!.!

can it really be real?

only 33 more days?

only 12 more chapters?

only 6 more assignments?

if I were an emotional kind of person, I think I'd cry about now!

oh, wait.... I AM an emotional kind of person, darn the luck!

jeez, only 33 more days
and tomorrow -- Mike has an 2nd interview about a job at a good and reputable company!
the tide's about to turn, for sure

let me stop now, so I can pinch myself. only 33 more days!

pinch myself and get back to my homework.
(thank goodness for air conditioning at the library)
sigh. 33 more days.

He Swims Like a Fish!

My guys!

Having missed most opportunities to go to the beach all summer (mostly due to rain, and more rain), we tried to go to Asbury Park to the beach today. We redirected to Point Pleasant, only to find there was NO parking unless you wanted teen boys to park your car and keep the keys "safe" for $18. So, we ended up at Bellmar Beach, a little north of Point Pleasant where we found the most convenient of parking meter spots, right on the boardwalk entrance area. You gotta pay $7 for each adult for a "Beach Badge", so we got our Beach Badges and ran thru the sand until we could throw down the chairs and then immediately headed to the water on the colorful beach. You should have seen the umbrellas that went on as far as the eye could see, it was like oversized and random polka-dots in the sand.

And it was all so beautiful! and the water was perfect, and the waves were just the right tolerance and our little guy...swam like a fish! We're gonna have to get an underwater camera for the next time.

He's always been a water baby, since the very first time we got him we found that out. He loved his baths at 6 months old, would even lay back in them and "chill out" on his own. I would find my peaceful quiet time in the garden tub with hot hot bubble bath water, but if he found a way into the bedroom, then off came the clothes and he'd want to take a bath also!

Now he needs to learn how to tread water and to breathe while swimming, but he's got everything else down, and he's so proud of himself. Even in the very salty ocean water, he would put his head in the water and swim away. Today, he spent almost 90 minutes in the water, just swimming and jumping around, and swimming more and more. He was so excited to be there, it made the long trip to find the parking spot worth the wait.

When the waves were coming in, he'd look for the perfect moment and then dive in and let the wave push him in closer to shore and then he'd jump up and spit out the water and come back for more. As for us, Mike enjoyed the opportunity to swim in deeper water, and I had forgotten about how buoyant salt water can make you and every part of you. Let's just say that I may need a newer bathing suit, one that doesn't allow the girls to go on mini-vacations without permission!

Going home was a faster trip, since we didn't have to drive around looking for parking. Next time, we'll be leaving at the crack of dawn instead of around noon. We are fortunate Chris likes to travel, as he is observant and asks questions about what he sees along the way. Almost home, he stopped talking, which was our first clue that must have fallen asleep!

In the words of our dear buddy SpongeBob: It was "the best day ev-er!"
It was definitely a great day!

Abusive grandma in the park

We took Christopher to the neighborhood park yesterday so he could ride his bike for awhile and we could also play trakball. This park is large and beautiful, well kept and popular with the community. It takes up about one city block, with ancient trees sprinkled around and in the middle of the park, with a huge children's play structure at one end.


It also has the police sub-station located about a half block in on one side of the park, very convenient for safety. Unfortunately, we had to call the police on a woman yesterday, as we witnessed her beating her 3-ish grandson and was unable to put him into her car. It's always a tough call to know when to cross the line and make a call to the police, but this woman made it easy.

I first noticed them when Christopher and I were playing ball in the park, and she and the kid were exiting the area. The kid was having a screaming temper tantrum, obviously unhappy with the Grandma's decision to make him leave with her. He was screaming at his top volume, pointing at the park, and trying to run back to play. She pulled and dragged him, tried to carry him to her SUV that was waiting on the side of the park. It happened to be about 2 car lengths in front of our van, where Mike was still sitting and talking to a friend on the phone. All this time, the kid continued to scream and cry. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary, except we felt sorry for the woman for the bratty kid.

Then, I heard Mike out of the van and yelling at the woman that if she hit the kid one more time he was going to hit her. To which she yelled at him where he could kiss her. You get the idea. She went on to tell him to quit watching her...all the while she was trying unsuccessfully to put this kid in his car seat and he was still screaming and crying at the top of his lungs, flailing about and kicking and hitting, making it harder for her. We figure she was about in her 60's and seemed to be in good shape, so she should have had no problem getting this child into his seat, even with the difficult situation, after a few minutes. However, 15 minutes later, and several neighbors now standing around observing, the situation continued to escalate.

Then we saw her hitting the boy's head on the top of the door frame over and over again, as she tried to put him in his seat. Probably not intentionally, but it didn't matter. After the first time, if that was accidental, there was no excuse for any repeated times. You can put your hand on top of his head to keep from having it make contact. If he didn't have a headache from all the screaming and previous hitting, he surely had one now! I'm sorry, kids have tantrums, they must be dealt with, but this was ridiculous. Because the kid didn't stop screaming from the first and second round of hitting, he obviously must be used to that kind of punishment and it didn't change his behavior.

It finally looked like she had gotten him into his seat, as she closed up the door and got into her seat. We pulled up beside her and I was going to tell her to take a chill pill before she hurt someone, and of course she ignored us.

We decided to call the police when we saw that the kid was NOT in his seat, and yet she was positioned in and ready to leave. Perhaps she was just trying to cool off, but she had already beaten him and yanked him around and was over the limit of being rational. If she wasn't feeling guilty, she could have done any number of other things to calm him down instead of continuing the violent approach.

We gave the police her vehicle tag number, description, and location yet when they arrived a couple of minutes later they drove on past us all. She took this opportunity to drive off with the kid not buckled in. When the police rounded the block again, we told them she drove off right in front of them, and they said they were looking in the park for a woman with a screaming kid, not in a car. Hmmm.....problem with dispatch translation? The calls are all recorded, so they could easily go back and see how the female dispatcher did not pass on the relevant info. Will they do this, and fix it so it doesn't happen again in another call?

The verdict: they will put this info on file, in case it comes up again. Because the woman drove off, there is nothing they can do? They have her tag number, they could have looked her up. Chances are, if she lived in the area, she'd be just a block or two away. They could knock on her door and warn her about the repercussions of child abuse and the effects of foster care, should the child be taken from her for abuse. Instead, they "put it on file", how convenient and lazy.

One can only hope that this ignorant woman, and the parents of her grandchild, will step up to the plate and become GOOD parents and caretakers. A child that is so out of control for such a long time obviously has issues, and probably issues that stem from his home environment or lack thereof, but is one that does NOT deserve to have his head repeatedly banged up against a car.

Traveling Man

Someone recently listed the number of states they've been in or through, which made me think about how many Christopher has been to in his short life thus far, in order of visits. I hope he will eventually make it to all 50 (plus DC)!

1. California
2. Virginia
3. West Virginia
4. Maryland
5. Washington, DC
6. Arizona
7. New Mexico
8. Colorado
9. Texas
10. Oklahoma
11. Arkansas
12. Tennessee
13. North Carolina
14. Delaware
15. New Jersey
16. New York
17. Pennsylvania
18. Ohio
19. Indiana

Mike has quite a few more than that, I can't keep up with his world traveling from Navy days!
for me, I can only add these others to the list (29 down, 22 to go!):

Illinois
Kentucky
Missouri
Utah
Nevada
Kansas
South Carolina
Georgia
Florida
Hawaii

So, Chris still has all of these above, plus the following still to go:

Northeast:
Maine
Vermont
New Hampshire
Massachusetts
Rhode Island
Connecticut

South:
Alabama
Mississippi
Lousiana

Central and Northwest:
Michigan
Wisconsin
Minnesota
Iowa
Nebraska
North Dakota
South Dakota
Wyoming
Montana
Idaho
Oregon
Washington
Alaska

There's a fungus among us! and Drunken Bumble Bees, too!

when walking Maya this morning, Christopher and I happened upon some unusual nature sightings. first, the bumble bees! check out this tree, it's dropping little yellow blossoms everywhere

here are the blossoms on the ground, they just pile up!

now, all the dark spots....those are BUMBLE BEES! they are hovering about a half inch over the blossoms, then they dive back in. I think they are actually high from all the pollen!

some were even stepped on or run over, they just probably couldn't move fast enough


diving in for more...


and across the street: beautiful fungus that looked more like wild flowers or roses




and another one across the sidewalk, more of a yellow color:


even the simple, small toadstools were hanging out today: